Second Edition
The Pain
Sings a Song
A seven-part narrative poetry memoir chronicling Shalanda Shaw’s path through loss, anger, despair, faith, and resilience.
First published May 2015 · ISBN 978-1-83418-842-3 · Tellwell · 333 pages
This book is for anyone who has struggled with mental illness or questioned their faith during challenging times, seeking meaning amid pain.
“Writing The Pain Sings a Song was not just about sharing poetry; it was about opening the deepest parts of my journey with bipolar disorder, faith, and healing. These poems were born from moments of struggle and silence but also from the grace that carried me through. My hope is that as you turn these pages, you’ll find pieces of your own story reflected, and you’ll be reminded that even in pain, there is a song waiting to be heard.”
— From the introduction to the second edition
Inside
Seven parts, three hundred and thirty-three pages
Part One
Why?
Identity loss and grief, at the start of the journey.
Twelve · Rage · Annihilated · Tired
Part Two
Why Not Me?
Stigma, faith, and the cycling in and out.
Say No to Stigma · Why, Lord? · Control
Part Three
This Is It
Depression named plainly.
Depressed · Selfish · I Hurt
Part Four
Inspiration
Pleading for change.
What to Do? · I Beg and I Plead
Part Five
Revenge
Anger and defiance turned into a daily poem.
Revenge · Dare to Dream · Breakthrough
Part Six
Revelation
Coping skills, support, and hope.
The Goodness of DBT · I Vow · Hope
Part Seven
Transition
Not complete healing — a voice regained.
Acceptance · Boundaries · Gratitude · Thanks
New
The writing section
New in the second edition: pages designed for the reader to write in, alongside the poems.
New in this edition
A writing section, designed especially for you
One of the most significant additions to the new edition of The Pain Sings a Song is a dedicated writing section, inviting readers’ voices into the book alongside the poems.
The reason is in Part Five. The turning point in the book is not a treatment or a revelation; it is a decision to write a poem every day, starting on a named date. Readers of the first edition kept describing the same reaction — that they wanted somewhere to put their own version of it. The second edition gives them the pages.
This is not journaling as therapy, and the book does not present it that way. It is closer to what NIMH describes under psychotherapies as the general principle behind skills-based work: putting an internal state into a form you can look at changes your relationship to it. Structured therapy does this with a clinician. A notebook does a smaller version of it alone, and is not a substitute for treatment.
The form
Why a memoir in poems, and not in chapters
A prose memoir is written from the far side. The author has survived, has an ending, and arranges the earlier material so that it leads there. That shape is reassuring and it is also, for this subject, slightly dishonest — it implies the illness was always going to resolve into a story.
These poems were written during, not after. Most of Part Five was produced under the discipline the poem “Revenge” sets out: one poem a day, beginning 1 August 2012. That means the book contains its own weather. A poem written in a depressive stretch does not know that Part Six is coming, and it has not been retrofitted to hint at it. Readers who are unwell often say this is the thing that makes the book usable to them, because nothing in it is condescending about how long the middle lasts.
The seven-part arrangement does the work a chapter structure would otherwise do. Parts One and Two are pre-diagnosis and early diagnosis: withdrawal at twelve, a name at sixteen, and the particular loneliness of having a label that other people flinch at. Parts Three and Four sit in the worst of it — depression named plainly, then the pleading that comes when naming it has not been enough. Part Five is the hinge, where anger becomes a daily practice instead of a mood. Part Six brings in the machinery: diagnosis, treatment, DBT skills, other people. Part Seven declines to call any of that a cure.
That last refusal is the book’s argument. Recovery in bipolar disorder is generally described by clinicians as ongoing management rather than resolution — the National Institute of Mental Health frames it as a lifelong condition that is treatable, with symptoms that can be controlled. Part Seven ends with a voice regained rather than an illness defeated, which is both truer and, for a reader in the middle of it, considerably more useful than a triumph would be.
Recovery is a struggle; however, instead of this being understood and supported by society and our close loved ones, it is stigmatized. People need to listen and lend a helping hand.
From the preface
From the book · Part Five
Revenge
It sounds so magnificent,
yet so bare . . .
but daring.
I want to get revenge on bipolar disorder
for what it has done to me.
So, I smell revenge as sweet success—
a poem every day,
starting on August 1, 2012.
I shall rise from the rubble of pain
by putting it on paper.
Reading it
Ways people use this book
Straight through
The seven parts carry a chronology, so reading in order gives you the arc: withdrawal, naming, depression, pleading, defiance, skills, and a voice regained. Most first-time readers do this.
By where you are
Individual poems stand alone. Readers in a bad stretch often start at Part Three or Part Five rather than at the beginning, and come back to Part One later when there is more room for it.
In a group
Book clubs, support groups and adult-education classes tend to take one part per session, read two or three poems aloud, and use the writing section for the last fifteen minutes. Ask about bulk rates.
If you are reading it with a group that includes people currently unwell, it is worth naming the content warning at the start of the session rather than at the end. The book describes suicidal thoughts, disordered eating and psychiatric hospitalization directly, and people should be able to choose their moment.
Questions
About the book
How long is The Pain Sings a Song?
333 pages in the second edition, arranged in seven parts, including the new writing section. The ISBN is 978-1-83418-842-3 and the publisher is Tellwell.
When was it first published?
May 2015. The second edition is the current one and is the version described on this page.
What is the difference between the first and second editions?
The second edition adds a dedicated writing section for readers, plus a new introduction. The poems and the seven-part structure are unchanged.
Is it available as an ebook?
Yes — paperback and ebook, both on Amazon. For orders of multiple copies for a class, congregation or support group, contact Shalanda directly rather than ordering individually.
Does the book give advice about treatment?
No. It is a memoir, not a clinical resource, and it makes no treatment recommendations. Part Six names what helped one person — diagnosis, treatment, DBT skills, support — without proposing it as a protocol for anyone else. For treatment guidance, speak to a licensed provider or call the SAMHSA National Helpline on 1-800-662-4357.
Can Shalanda visit our book club?
She does readings and Q&A sessions with book clubs, in person and remotely. Speaking and topics covers formats, and events lists anything already scheduled.
If you need help now
Where to find real support
This website is a book, not a crisis service, and nothing on it is medical advice. The organisations below are staffed by people who are trained for this, and all of them are free.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, every day, across the United States. It is for suicidal crisis, mental-health crisis and substance-use crisis alike — you do not have to be at the worst point to call.
NAMI HelpLine
1-800-950-6264, or text “NAMI” to 62640, Monday to Friday, 10am–10pm ET. The National Alliance on Mental Illness answers questions about diagnosis, treatment and local services. It is explicitly not a crisis line — for a crisis, use 988. More at nami.org.
SAMHSA National Helpline
1-800-662-4357 (1-800-662-HELP), free and confidential, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in English and Spanish. It is a treatment referral service: it will point you to local providers and support groups. See samhsa.gov.
Peer support
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance runs peer-led groups, online and in person, for people living with mood disorders and for the people who love them. Mental Health America publishes free screening tools and plain-language guides.
Outside the United States, contact your local emergency number or health service.
Get a copy
Second edition, paperback and ebook. Bulk and book-club rates are arranged directly.
Sources
Where these figures come from
Every statistic on this page is attributed. Where research is early or mixed, this page says so rather than rounding it up into a promise.
- National Institute of Mental Health, Psychotherapies. Referenced for the general principle behind skills-based therapeutic work; the book’s writing section is not a clinical intervention and is not presented as one.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, National Helpline. Treatment referral, 1-800-662-4357.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 988lifeline.org.